19 June 2013

Growing as a couple

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Todays marriage link-up is about unexpected moments and growing as a couple. Matthew and I hit the ground running with our "unexpected moments" because right when we got engaged it seemed like it was one thing after another. At first, Matthew had a bangin' job and we tried buying a house. Everything was so perfect. We looked around for a little while, decided on the one we wanted, and were in the process when Matthew got laid off. That was my first reality check that things don't always go your way just because you found somebody to love for the rest of your life.

As for things we have learned...I can't say if Matthew has learned anything from me, but I have learned a lot from him! He taught me how to communicate...something I never bothered trying to learn with any other boyfriend. He taught me that it's not okay to just assume he knows I'm sorry without saying it. Probably most importantly, he taught me how to fight nice. I was not a very nice fighter when we got married. My goal when we argued was to make him as upset as I was, and usually it worked. Then I matured a little bit, and now the goal if we ever argue (much more rare) is to explain why I'm upset and really just to get on the same page as him. This has made all the difference in the world.
One other major thing we had to learn early on was paying attention to how our actions are making the other one feel. I know I love Matthew, but if all I do is whine at him, then he probably isn't feeling that love. It's very important to match your actions with how you feel for that person. We're gonna need this marriage to last, so we really try to follow through with these things we have learned and really make our marriage a priority.

Of course, we have years and years and YEARS of learning ahead of us still, but I think these are the basics that were most valuable for us early on. All of the pictures in this post are when we were still right in the middle of learning all of these things...Marriage 101 if you will.


Kalyn Randolph said...

I am so thankful to see so many wives who never let the little unexpected life happenings bring down their marriage. You mention some wonderful, wonderful points in this post! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and heart with all who have linked up! I hope many of the other wives will value all you have shared, just as much as I did!


Veronica Lee Burns said...

Kevin taught me how to communicate my hurts to him better too...isn't it so funny how God made us so different? like between males and females...so crazy!

karajean said...

Such good lessons! I was such a bad fighter when I got married. I would storm out of a room instead of staying to talk it out. Fortunately I have also matured a bit since then :)

Jessica said...

Great post! Thanks for sharing

Ashley R said...

Such a great post. I agree with everything you pointed out. You guys seems like a great match! :)

E. Erquitt said...

Loved this post!

Shay said...

You two are so cute! I love how you talk about fighting nice- that is something I struggle with too!

Becca Moss said...

You two are adorable girl! I love how others have learned from their husbands. Following your blog now from the link up!

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