1. After I told my patient that she shouldn't get up to the bathroom without assistance: "I don't need advice from young girls. Young girls need advice from ME." Haha well alright then, cranky.
2. I walked into a patient's room to find that she had taken her hospital gown off... Me: "Oh! You're naked." Patient: "SSHH! Be quiet!" Usually the response I get when I say this is "Yeah it was hot" or something, so hers just stood out as extra hilarious to me.
3. Me: "Do you have any pain?" Patient: "No, but I'm real sore and my back is hurting."
4. Me: "What is your pain level on a scale of 1-10?" Patient: "A zero and a ten." Uhhh...
5. Patient: "What's my temperature?" Me: "98.4" Patient: "Oh good! It was 300 when I first came in to the ER."
6. Patient: "Wow! It's 7-13-13, what an unlucky day...just wait until 13-13-13!"
7. A patient yelled at me rudely and I told him not to talk to me like that. He said: "I wasn't yellin' I was screechin!"
7. The following conversation was overheard in the cafeteria. Cafeteria worker: "Hey um, whats up with that flood out in the parking lot?" Security guard: "Oh, a man hit a fire hydrant with his car. He left his car, and tried to run though. I was looking around for the person who did it...and happened to find a man casually standing outside the ER soaking wet..."