23 November 2013

Every little detail of our love story

My very favorite non-human thing is this so called "life book" that I update and buy at the end of each year. The other day I was showing the kids (of the family we live with) our life book and I realized that some of the details of the very beginning have started to get hazy! Already! I've never shared our love story in its entirety on the blog before, so I figured now was a good time before I forget anything else.


We're going straight to the beginning, folks.

In high school, none of my boyfriends were ever LDS. I lived in an extremely small town (there were only 31 other people in my graduating class) and I just never clicked with the one Mormon boy my age, although we were very good friends. I KNEW what I wanted my future to look like...temple marriage, kids, priesthood holder...I just wasn't living my life in a way that matched that. Confusion ensued.



Soon enough, I was head over heels for someone I DEFINITELY didn't want to spend the rest of my life with. He was nothing that I needed but I couldn't help but fall for him. After a two year off and on relationship I decided to end it for good as my senior year drew to a close, and the breakup was messy. I decided to never date another boy who wasn't worthy of a temple marriage after that. 

Two years later I was still single and miserable. Part of me was convinced that I would have to marry somebody I didn't like in order to have the future I so craved, and I spent a lot of time wondering if I would be able to handle that. Remember that Mormon boy I never clicked with in high school?  Well he was on his mission now and I decided that he would just have to be the one, since he seemed to be the only eligible option. I believed I could MAKE myself love him and then, tada - I would get the forever family that I wanted. I threw myself into the idea of him and found myself falling in love with the person I created him to be in my head. We wrote. We joked. I informed my family that he was my choice. That was my story and I was sticking to it.

Then one Sunday I was sitting with my rowdy primary class and a member of the bishopric came in to announce that there was to be a huge meeting, which ALL of the young single adults in the area would be encouraged to attend. It was at that meeting that a new young single adult ward was announced, and I had to choose between staying in my family ward or joining this new ward an hour away from  home. Even though my parents struggled with the idea of me "leaving" I started driving to meetings an hour away every Sunday and Tuesday, and sometimes Monday. I LOVED every moment of making new connections and friends. 



It was here that I first met Matthew. I remember the first time I saw him, in institute one evening sitting next to some girl. I was almost mesmerized by him, although this is kind of embarrassing to admit. I stared shamelessly and found myself picturing him and that other girl married in the future - wondering how some girls seem to have the best luck! I heard the words of my aunt in my head "It's not official until there's a ring on his finger" and decided to try flirting with him even though I didn't know if he was in a relationship with that girl he was talking to or not (I'm sure my aunt would be so proud, haha). I sat behind them and wondered what the heck I was going to say to get his attention. At one point he said something to her and, although I wasn't even listening to the lesson, I leaned forward and shushed him. He looked a little confused at first but he definitely stopped talking to her - mission accomplished! After the lesson he turned around and asked "So are you going to the pool party tonight?" and when I answered that I definitely was, he gave me this smile and told me that he was looking forward to seeing me there. At the pool party, he had no game. He just followed me around and called me "beautiful" way too often. Yawn. I still couldn't deny that he was the most handsome one there, but he was much less interesting now that the chase seemed to be over.

A couple of months later I was on my way to a YSA beach trip with some friends and Matthew was quick to volunteer to ride with us to show us the way there. I rolled my eyes because by this time I knew that he was a notorious flirt and obviously the only reason he chose our car was because it was the only one with all girls! I had heard many terrible rumors about him and even though I wasn't sure which ones were true and which ones were false, I was prepared for the most annoying car ride ever. Much to my surprise, he was charming and funny and we actually would have gotten lost without him. I was also impressed about how he explained the word of wisdom to my two friends (who were not LDS).


My interest in Matthew was renewed at the beach that day...but he never asked me out so I was kind of disappointed. I was also still telling myself that I was going to marry the boy from my hometown who was on his mission - though with noticeably less resolve now. A boy came along, and he didn't seem like my type but he was interested in me and I figured that "my type" in the past had never really worked out. My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to give it a try. I officially had a Mormon boyfriend for the first time in my life.

^ Halloween. I was a firework, he was a viking?

Oh look, there's Matthew haha! We kind of think this picture is hilarious now.

Unfortunately, the two of us were in completely different places. He fell hard and fast before I was even completely sure I even liked him at all! His dad started calling me his future daughter in law, his mother wanted to browse wedding dresses with me, and one day he tried to convince me to move with him to Idaho, where he would soon be leaving for college. As the clock winded down for him to leave the pressure built - I obviously had to breakup with him but struggled with how to do it, and all the while he was  brainstorming ideas on how to propose to me! He took me up to the top of a mountain one day and I was so scared of the impending conversation that I faked an intense interest in the wildlife around me in order to avoid meeting his eyes.  He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me for the rest of his life, but my mind was racing and all of the sudden I just blurted out the words "I don't!" There's just no sugar coating something like that, and looking back now I still think those two little words that caused him so much pain at the time were the right words for the moment.

Next up: Part Two

7 comments

E. Erquitt said...

I'm excited for part two!

Jennifer Martinez said...

ughhh the suspense!

Veronica Lee Burns said...

YAY for sharing love stories!

Whitney M. @ The Married Me said...

I like this sharing idea :)

Kendra Klingler said...

Hmm I never actually knew how it ended with you and that guy ;) But now I do!!

Stacia, the Homey Owl said...

How fun! I'm looking forward to reading part 2. Thanks for sharing!

Ashley R said...

I am loving this story so far, thanks for sharing it. :)

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