29 October 2014

Baby Woes

If you've been around for a while, you're probably aware that my Mattie and I have been trying for a baby for (what feels like) quite some time now. I do not want a ttc (trying to conceive) blog because there are other so many other people and bloggers who have been trying for WAY longer than Matthew and I, so it wouldn't feel right. But even though I don't want to blog about it full time, I do like to offer small glimpses into our experience with this every now and then.

Side note: This is my mom, a labor and delivery nurse, with the first baby she delivered all by herself without a doctor last week! The family wanted this picture, but I had to cover up the sweet little face because of pesky laws and such, haha! I thought it went with this post so I wanted to share...back to me!

Our ttc efforts have shifted over the past couple months or so. I felt like I needed a break from this every month (which is 100% accurate btw), so we stopped "actively" trying. My biggest problem is that sometimes my body fakes me out during the tww (two week wait) by giving me fake pregnancy symptoms before my periods, (symptoms I have never had before, mind you!) and then I can't help but get my hopes up. The last time my body did that and I was sure I was pregnant, my period decided to be two weeks late. No amount of negative pregnancy tests could tell me I wasn't pregnant (my mom's HCG was low in the beginning of her pregnancies, so it was technically possible) and of course that was the biggest let down ever. That was a few months ago when we decided to give it a rest.

Since then, I've stopped expecting it to happen, and simply assume that it will be a long long time from now. This has been making me a little bitter, if I'm being honest. When I find out couples are expecting now, I announce matter of factly "Welp, I don't like them anymore." Haha! I know, I know, I know, it will happen when it is supposed to - seriously I get told alllll the time. It doesn't make the wait any easier though!

I think being around kids actually helps. My little's at church actually make me feel better every week. Most of them are super lovey and give me lots of hugs. This past Sunday, two of them kept cuddling up next to me...and I'm not sure if it's appropriate to let them do that or not, but I think I needed it. Sometimes they even say random things about how one day I'll have a baby in my tummy (I've never told them I'm trying to make that happen, btw) and when they say stuff like that, its so different than when adults say stuff like that - it melts my heart!

I'm fully convinced my first baby will be a girl. Part of me feels like I know her already, and ALL of me is in love with her already. It hurts that I don't have her yet, but I know she will be worth the wait. 

27 October 2014

Pickin Punkins

I was so excited this weekend to go pick out pumpkins at the pumpkin patch! Matthew made fun of me for wanting to do all of the kid stuff (psh) but I shook my fist at him and promised that once I have a kid of my own, nobody will be able to judge me for doing the corn maze or hay ride or face painting, ha. That will show him.

Although we had a lot of fun, the pumpkins were all picked out and we couldn't find one that measured up to our pumpkin standards. We ended up getting our pumpkin from the grocery store, because we're flexible like that.

24 October 2014

Confessions of a wanna-be fashion blogger

Can we be honest for a second? I kiiinda wish I was a fashion blogger. Back in the day (and don't go looking because the photos are probably awkward) when I started this little blog, I would post pictures of outfits that I wore and outfits I had created on Polyvore all the time. I just think clothes are fun to talk about.

What sounds great in theory though, is actually pretty awkward once you're standing in front of a camera. Soon enough I noticed that clear skin, thigh gaps, and the latest iPhone seemed to be prerequisites to be a fashion blogger...oh, and a fashion sense haha ;) so I gave it up.

Buuut, every now and then, I get an outfit I love so much that I just have to share! So forgive me while I talk clothes with ya'all, but have you heard of eShakti?! You pick a style, customize a dress, and BAM! Perfect dress. Seriously, it felt sooooo good to wear something made with my exact measurements in mind. I felt like freaking Kate Middleton or something! I chose a silhouette that is universally flattering and that I think I can change to work with every season and I am soo happy with it.

Did I mention they come with pockets?!

Turns out, it's way too easy to get addicted to wearing made-to-measure dresses - I'm already trying to decide on my next one! If you're interested in checking out eShakti, you can check out their website, facebook, pinterest, and instagram. Oh and byyyy the way, enter the coupon code "laynahroses" in the promotional code box at check out and you'll get 10% off!

22 October 2014

How to do horror nights the right way

For the past two years, we have been spoiled with VIP tickets to Universal Halloween Horror Nights, and now it has become a tradition we look forward to all year! They really know how to halloween right over there! At one point, I growled back at a zombie that approached me, and I was literally inches from his face. I thought for sure I would be able to tell that his mask/makeup was fake from that close...not gonna lie, it was so legit I got scared for a second haha. The VIP tour literally ensures that your night is PERFECT and I could not speak highly enough of the experience! Here is what I would recommend for a flawless night at halloween horror nights:

1. Get yourself an uncle who CANT STAND waiting in lines, and who also happens to have the money/desire to pay for VIP tickets for everyone. Check. 

2. Selfie it up on the way to Universal Studios. I'll only share one, but you get the idea...there's more where this came from. 

3. Optional step: Steal a scooter you can't exactly drive, and crash into a wall.

4. Eat dinner at City Walk. 

5. Watch the sun go down from the balcony of the VIP lounge and let the anticipation build! (While you're at it, make sure to NOT miss opening ceremonies).

6. Have the BEST TIME EVER on your private tour with your favorite people and be so so so grateful every time you pass a line that you don't have to wait in it. PS - the private tour is different every year! Last year we went on a "ghost hunt" like those paranormal guys you see on TV, and this year they left us for dead in an alleyway and released monsters upon us! 

7. Never go to another theme park ever, because you are completely spoiled now. Congrats.

15 October 2014

Crazy Kids

I teach the 3-4 year olds every Sunday at church, and I think it would be a disservice to NOT share some of the hilarious things they tell me, ha. They are so dang funny, I just love this age!

Boy: "Oooooh, I am a scarry moooommy!" Girls: "Eek! Not a mommy!"

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Please help us to have a good day at church. Please make Sister Crawley come to my house. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Girl: Why is locking your doors important?
Me: So people that don't live in your house can't get in your house.
Girl: Ohhhh. Like zombies.
Me: Um, I don't think zombies use doors - oh wait, um...actually, zombies don't exist...
Girl: OH YES they do!!
(my bad on that one, haha)

"You have pretty shoes. Sara has pretty shoes. (whispers loudly) Lilly does NOT have pretty shoes."

Me: "No punching Jesus during the prayer, guys!" That's a sentence I never thought I'd say haha.

Me: Whats your name?
Girl: Holds up three fingers.

Girl: My brother is in love with you. (Her brother is one and can't talk haha)

Girl: Pull your eyelashes out.
Me: (leans forward) My what?
Girl: (takes her little thumb and pointer finger...and slowly extends her hand toward my eyeball)
Me: (thinks she is going to brush off an eyelash that fell onto my cheek)
Girl: (GRABS my eyelashes) Pull your eyelashes out! (proceeds to yank on my eyelid).

12 October 2014

That first two years though!

We have certainly had a lot of good times...

and mayyyybe one or two bad times as well.

The very first time I ever laid my eyes on him, I felt an unfamiliar emotion run through me. Clear as day I was...jealous? I sat there for a moment, turning that feeling round and round inside me, questioning it. Double checking. Yes, it was definitely jealousy I felt, but not of him...I was jealous of his future wife! I quickly dismissed this as the most shallow thought I have ever thunk, but as luck would have it - I AM that future wife. Apparently the odds were in my favor. 

Little did I know then that he would end up being more qualified to be my husband than any checklist of the perfect man I could ever dream up. He teaches me to try. He teaches me to talk softly. He teaches me to give sincere apologies. He teaches me to be patient. He teaches me to smile when I don't think I can. He teaches me to not be afraid of my emotions. He teaches me to be strong. He teaches me to trust. He teaches me to think responsibly. He teaches me to love. And he teaches me that I'm not running this show, because I didn't even realize I needed to learn all of these things! I'm certainly glad someone did though.

 The only difference I can tell between the year one and the year two mark is that at first I didn't think I deserved him, but now I do. I know I deserve every bit of him and he deserves every bit of me because we belong together, the good and the bad. Happy Anniversary.

09 October 2014

A throwback thursday story

I was the weirdest child. Have you ever been not thinking about anything with a totally blank mind, and then a random story from your childhood comes up and you kinda relive it? Well, I'm not sure why, but that has been happening to me a lot lately haha! 

For instance...and this is a true story...when I was in 3rd grade I liked this boy. He was an overweight hispanic boy and he made my little 8 year old heart melt. I dont know. Anyways, he liked this little blonde girl with straight hair who didn't act like Mimi-siku from Jungle 2 Jungle. Basically he had a crush on someone who was the exact opposite of me.

a picture of me in 3rd grade to help you understand what we're dealing with.

But I wasn't one to just sit around and curse my misfortune. I took action. One night, I devised a fool proof plan to break them up, and then dye my hair blonde so he would fall in love with me. Phase one involved writing notes to both Melissa and Eduardo (names have been changed) and hiding them in their desks to find. Both notes said something to the effect of: Dear Melissa, I don't like you anymore. You are super lame. Don't talk to me. From Eduardo

It would have worked great if the third grade teacher hadn't caught wind of what was happening. Eduardo was just confused, but Melissa was a wreck! She was crying and all upset, and kept apologizing to Eduardo for writing such a mean note. Face palm. She actually believed SHE wrote the note?! To this day I don’t know why she admitted to the crime, but it would seem that I was off the hook.

Actually, no. That meddling teacher had to go and get involved, and the minute he saw each of the notes he knew it was me because 1. He knew my writing and 2. The notes were written on my personal cutesy stationary haha! He took me aside and, without admitting that he knew it was me, asked for my opinion on the recent events of classroom 7. 

He didn’t talk down to me or scold me at all, and the fact that he was so kind about it me made me feel ashamed for ever doing something so bad! I admitted that I had indeed executed this horrible act and he didn’t even punish me.

The End.

PS – Regarding phase two: I actually did end up lightening my hair to a brassy blonde color with leave-in sun lightening gel! It worked out a little better than phase one, because Eduardo DID get a crush on me after that. Unfortunately my fickle heart had moved on by then.

03 October 2014

How my puppy is preparing me for motherhood

First of all...I used to hate the terms "fur baby" and "fur mama". I felt like people who used those terms were implying that they love their dog or cat as much as they love their children (or children if they had any). My reasoning is: I don't care how much you love your dog, there's a problem if you love an animal as much as you love a human being that formed in your womb from an intimate act with somebody you love deeply. No way. 

Buuuut that being said, now that I have a puppy, I kind of get it. I take care of her and she depends on me for everything...so there is definitely a special bond there. I will not refer to her as my "fur baby" but I will admit that the love I have for her as an owner is almost mother-like. Now when I hear people call themselves a fur mama, I assume that's what they mean and I am surprisingly okay with it now.

Almost against my will, my view of those terms changed and I had to start admitting to myself that taking care of Sadie might be giving me a glimpse into motherhood. I've never had a baby, but here's what she has taught me that I think might overlap:

1. Waking me up in the middle of the night. 
This is a no-brainer, she needed to be let out at frequent intervals when we first got her and yes, that includes night time too. It's only been a couple weeks but she is sleeping through the night now in her crate.

2. When I try to wear her out, I get more exhausted than she does.
Mercy me she has a lot of energy! I want her to sleep well (refer to point #1) but when I try to wear her out it just makes ME tired haha.

3. I feel like people are judging me for my decisions.
I'll just come out and say it: I take my ten week old puppy to the dog park! Oh the controversy. She has had her first two shots and I was told that the most important time of her life to socialize was between 8 and 12 weeks. I was also told that as long as she had her first couple shots she would be fine. Que rant: speaking of shots, I give them to her myself! Go ahead and judge me, but it's super easy and super cheap. Yes, obviously there is a risk of anaphylaxis - but that chance is SO small. If you're so worried about that minuscule risk, you might has well have a vet standing by the first time you give her any new food as well. She loves the dog park and hasn't died yet, so I think we're good. 

4. Mama bear comes out when someone hurts my puppy.
At the dog park, Sadie is as excited as can be. She crawls up to other dogs wagging her tail and jumps around them, asking to play. Sometimes they say no...the second time I took her to the dog park, another dog nipped at her because apparently he didn't want to play! I felt an intense mixture of worry and anger and sadness all at the same time, and I imagine that's the same way mama bears feel when someone messes with their cubs. 

5. I have to remember to give my husband loves too.
The first couple days it was hard to pay attention to him because Sadie demanded so much of my attention. I think we've balanced out a little bit now, but it was a weird transition.

6. My puppy wants to be everywhere with me...even the bathroom.
The weird part is, it's not even weird for me to have her sit in there, haha! 

7. She cries when I am not giving her enough attention.
Sadie is not afraid to tell me when she thinks I should be paying attention to her instead of doing the laundry. She's actually gotten better at this, but dang was it annoying at first.

8. When I leave her, I worry more than she even cares.
ESPECIALLY at first! We have a non-carpeted room set up for her in our house with everything she could possibly need. The first few days I went to work, I would be so worried about her all day and rush home during my lunch to check on her. She was always sleeping when I got there! She seems to be completely fine on her own, and will even go to her room to play with herself sometimes, even when we are home. I still want to get a friend for her, but I refuse to feel guilty for leaving her because I spend an hour with her before work wearing her out, and then my husband comes home a few hours before me to wear her out again.

9. I think she is literally the cutest ever.
Ever. THE cutest dog ever. Everything she does, even normal dog stuff, is adorable to me, which leads me too...

10. It's hard not to spoil her because she is SO cute!
When she bites or jumps up on me I kind of just want to let her because it makes me sad to tell her no, but I realize that will be a major problem when she gets bigger. When she cried the first few nights after putting her in her crate for bedtime, I totally wanted to give in and let her sleep in our bed. Now I'm glad I didn't but it was harder for me than I thought it would be. Taking care of her in general is harder than I thought it would be!

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