...when I think back to those days where I thought marriage would be easy. I mean, yeah, I knew it was hard for other people, but I was practically a relationship professional back in my day. For some reason, God thought it would be hilarious to give me easy relationship after easy relationship, and then push me into the arms of my wildcard Mattie! Or is it me that's the wildcard?? I cant be sure...
Let me give you a rundown of my past relationship experiences before Matthew: Finding boys to like was easy. Finding boys to like me was easy. Getting my way was so easy and expected that I barely noticed. Out of all of my boyfriends, I only ever fought with one of them. I was never cheated on. I was never even broken up with. And every SINGLE one, without fail, expressed interest in marrying me. I just had a never-ending string of easy relationships with quick-to-please boys, and looking back... I maybe might have left a few of broken hearts in my wake. Oops.
SO MAYBE THAT'S WHY Heavenly Father made me marry Matthew. And I don't use the words "made me marry" lightly. Every little thing, every word spoken, every encounter that we had in the beginning was marked by a subtle, constant hint of fate. We were simply drawn together in such a way that made it undeniable there was something different here. If that's not a sign that we should get married, I don't know what is. Not going to lie, I was scared. I loved Matthew so much, so quickly, so powerfully, for reasons I wasn't even sure of! I was not so naive to think that love would always be enough, and I was truly nervous about how little I knew about him. My nerves did die down every time I remembered the undeniable feelings I had, and by the time we were engaged I was 100% sure I was making the right decision.
But even though I made the right decision, I had no idea what I was in for. Needless to say, he is not the type (at least anymore) to roll over and let me get my way all the time. What an unexpected turn of events! The greatest challenge of my life will be learning how to compromise and gently communicate my feelings. I am certain that will be a life long endeavor.
And that is all I have to say about that, for now ;)