04 March 2015

Photog Monologues

Ummm yeah, so I like that title and I'm gonna go ahead and make it a series. It's decided. 

I haven't talked photography in a while and I just wanted to share some updated thoughts. First of all, remember the first birth story I did?

They want me to come back and take their baby's two month pictures now! Insert wide-eyed emoji here. I am soo thrilled that they want me back because it proves that she really did like my pictures. My first repeat client! But I'm half terrified because I've never really shot a baby before...I'm kind of bad with babies...and TWO MONTH OLDS ARE DIFFICULT. It's between that sleepy newborn stage and the sitting up/crawling stage.

Even if I do pull it off there is no guarantee that I will like the session as a whole because I am so. so. critical of my work. I am my work's WORST CRITIC* and  while I recognize that I should be kind to myself, it really works for me to be extremely critical (the key is to make sure I'm putting the image down, not putting myself down haha)! Because the feeling I get when I dislike something so much that I find a way to make it better and then it actually gets better is incredibly rewarding! When I say something bad about my pictures in front of other people they get this tone of pity in their voice and say "Nooo, your pictures are goood" (they drag out the words like that). Maybe SOME of them are good, but most of them are mediocre at best I'm not settling for that.

On that note...a few years ago my family made a big to-do about taking extended family pictures. They turned out pretty good - some were great, most were fine:

I remember the photographer that day (Lora Grady). She seemed a little nervous, but capable at the same time...all she had was her camera, and her boyfriend (or husband?) running around with a reflector. Recently I decided to play critic and went back to take another look at those images. Woah woah woah. Holy over-editing and sharpening! I thought these were so good at the time but now I'm not a huge fan of some of them...

In her defense, I was crying right before this shot because I thought I was hideous lol. I would over-edit me too!

BUT then I took a look at her photography now and OH MY GOSH they are so gorgeous they make my heart sing! Absolutely beautiful, I can't find one flaw.

I can really relate to the Lora 5 years ago. It's inspiring to see how much she improved and hope that in 5 years I can improve just as much as she has. The thought makes my chest swell with hopeful anticipation - it also makes me want to stand up and give her a round of applause. I believe that I am currently around the talent-level where Lora was... I've got a reflector, a softbox, my camera, and some experience under my belt. I have rudimentary photoshop (elements) skills. Sometimes I get frustrated that my pictures aren't better, but I am glad that they don't satisfy me yet because that's what pushes me.

* Speaking of being my worst critic, I dislike the last session (Micaela's Senior Photos) that I put up on my photography page. Some of them just make me cringe and part of me wants to just take them down and deny I ever took them, haha! I feel terrible for saying that because I did those for my cousin and it kind of feels like I failed her...but I just think I could have done much a better job. However, I DO like some of them...this is one I really like for some reason. My shadow is in the way, and (sigh) yes, it is slightly over edited. But I like it.


Lauren @ Lot Forty Eight said...

I know you will do GREAT!

Parrott Ponderings said...

I love the newborn photo you took!The fact that they want you to come back to do the two month session is so exciting! I get what you are saying about being critical of your own work. Sometimes I am that way with my pictures and I am no photographer. Good for you for realizing that it is a process and sticking to it! I can't wait to see more of your photos.

Kay R. said...

You are super talented and you will do great! Seriously gorgeous photos!

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