27 August 2015

Jonesin' for my Bones-y


When Matthew and I were engaged we would talk about babies and animals often. We would brainstorm names for our babies and I would either try to convince Matthew that one day we needed a Doberman Pinscher or a Sphynx. At first I only suggested a Sphynx because I REALLY wanted a dobie and I thought for sure Matt would let me get one if his only other option was a naked wrinkly cat haha! After reading up on how high maintenance they are, however, I let it drop.

Then two years later we started trying for babies. We tried and tried with no luck and my heart broke into a million pieces. And yeah, we thought about fertility treatments, but those are scary for so many reasons because, first of all, the thought of raising a human without screwing it up is scary in and of itself! But fertility treatments? Thousands of dollars and countless tears and (possibly) many long exhausting, frustrating years without the guarantee of a baby? Negative pregnancy tests during treatment will be so much more painful than they are now, because I'll have hope. I'll be falling from a higher place. THEN I'll have to get over the hurdle of possible feelings of inadequacy if I do actually get pregnant?! At this point in my life, I just can't deal. And I'm okay with waiting until I can deal, because I guess a couple years isn't so bad in the long run.

But in the meantime, I still kinda need something to love. So I started seriously considering a naked cat again, and this time the "maintenance" didn't scare me so bad. More than that - somehow they had become cute to me! How did that even happen?! I fell in love with their exotic look and put myself down on a waitlist, being told that it could take up to a year to be offered a kitten. Well surprise surprise, I was offered offered a kitten this last week! Mattie and I considered the gender and colors and ultimately decided to accept him.

Next week we are going to visit the cattery to see if Matthew's allergies are affected by the naked cats, and if all goes well his name will Bones and he will be mine in 15 weeks. Fifteen whole weeks.

23 August 2015

Spiritual Experiences in San Diego

This Saturday my Mattie and I packed up the car at 5am to head out to a wedding in San Diego! I was so pumped to see the temple because I was only an itty bitty girl last time I was there - and it did not disappoint! We ended up getting there an hour and a half early so that was basically a dream come true because I was able to walk around and take pictures and coerce Matthew into recreating one of our wedding pictures haha!

This was the wedding picture:

Then the ceremony - ohhh my goodness the ceremony! I am so team "LA temple" and even from the outside of the SD temple I was like "Oh thats nice" but all the temples are nice and to be honest it doesn't take my breath away. I feel like it looks like a big chunk of the building is missing right in the middle. But then I found myself inside an elevator, and when the doors opened on the fourth floor they revealed a GARDEN right there inside of this gorgeous, white room and I just about died. Va. Va. Voom. Seriously took my breath away. I obviously don't have a picture of the inside, but if you click this link and zoom in you can see the flower-shaped window on the roof. The center part of that flower is open, but the petals extend down into the temple, forming a sorta star-shaped glass enclosure housing a beautiful variety of plant life. It is SO much better than another spire!

 ^ of course there would be seagulls perched on the sunny San Diego temple haha!

Anyways. I'm in love. But about Josh! The groom this weekend was a long time, dear friend of mine, and also happened to be the first boyfriend I had after my parents packed me up and moved me to the middle-of-nowhere town I grew up. He was far from Mormon when we "dated" at 14, but since the moment he was baptized (at 16 or 17) he has truly strived to represent Christ in every single thing he does and I have a deep respect for him for being such a good example to me...even though I was LDS long before he was. In fact, my family and I thought for sure I was going to end up marrying him eventually, but halfway through his mission, Matthew's dad (the Stake President) formed a YSA ward where I met Matthew and the rest is history.

I was already engaged when that long-anticipated two years was up, and incredibly nervous to see Josh at his homecoming. What if - heaven forbid - I had feelings for him?! Literally the instant he opened his mouth to speak at his homecoming, a powerful wave of non-emotion ran through me and I knew I had made the correct choice. Matthew was my forever love. To deny it would be denying a thousand promptings to a thousand prayers - but for some reason seeing Josh and feeling that feeling let me know that I most certainly had NOT misinterpreted those promptings.

But I still respect and admire Josh for the strong person he is, and we have a friendship that I am grateful for. Also in the wedding party was somebody else who I never thought would be Mormon - Joe Quinn! Joe was the last person you'd expect to be religious in high school, and I even remember him talking trash to me about the Mormon church on more than one occasion, ha. But one semester of living with Josh right after graduation was enough to get him baptized AND his conversion was so thorough that he started filling out mission papers immediately! It was such a shock! Miracles really do happen and Joe's conversion is totally a miracle. Today some of his old friends are shadows of the human beings they once were, literally living in the darkness of their trailer park homes with bodies reduced to corpse-like skeletons through years of hard drug use. Wondering if that could have been the fate he avoided by joining the church, and being with the two of them in the temple touched me to my very soul. The three of us have walked very different paths, but it's no coincidence that our lives have been more joyful and fulfilling than they have ever been since centering them on our Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for that knowledge. And of course, I just had to get a picture of the three of us with our forever loves.

Congratulations, Joshua and Joslyn. Happy eternity.

19 August 2015


So my family and my dad's best friend's family are incredibly close, and somewhere over the years they just became our family. I have grown up with them at every one of my major life events, their kids call my mom and dad "aunt and uncle", and no matter what I do in this life they will love me just like family. Since they moved to Indiana about 10 years ago, there have been many trips back and forth (on both ends) to visit. 

Their daughter who is my age, Annalysa, is just about the most quirky person I have ever met. She has a huge heart, loves fiercely, dances at the slightest sound of music, and is obsessed with Jack Skellington (I mean OBSESSED, ya'all - she almost started crying this weekend when we found a store that sold Jack stuff, ha)! When I was 5 years old our parents brought us to Johns Incredible Pizza to meet (a pizza buffet/arcade place kinda like Chuck E. Cheese's). I remember after we had eaten it was time to play in the arcade, and as she followed me around like a little puppy it started to dawn on me that it wouldn't be so easy to get rid of this girl. Boy was I right! For the remainder of my childhood she continued to follow me around and love me no matter how mean I was to her at times. Despite myself, I fell in love with the dang girl and now I really do think of her as a cousin. 

But I haven't seen her for at least a year or two before my wedding...so I'd guess about 5 or 6 years. I tell Matt about her all the time and its so weird to me that he still hasn't met somebody who is such a big part of "my story". Well, she came up to visit California this last week, and I was really hoping Matt would finally be able to meet her...but she was just so busy with other family that it was really hard to find a time when even I could see her! I only found out she was in my neck of the woods on Saturday and I had to do a bit of rearranging on my schedule to even get a few hours with her - but Mattie just wasn't able to do it last minute. 

So I joined her and a few others at - guess where - John's Incredible Pizza! Can you even believe the irony that is my life?! Seriously, you can't plan this stuff. It was so freaking weird being there together since both of us remember that first time we met pretty clearly.

Yes, we played all the arcade games for old time's sake! And yes she is STILL JUST AS COMPETITIVE! You should see this girl's victory dance.

That couple of hours turned out to not be enough after such a long time apart and I ended up taking a "mental health day" on Monday so I could join her and her uncle at MAGIC MOUNTAIN of all places. You guys - my life! We've been there so many times together as kids that this is also a nostalgic place in our history.

While we were there, something kinda hilarious happened. Halfway through the day, I see my friend Olivia in the bathroom and she starts telling me in a hushed whisper about the "hot Serbian guys" her and her friend found. They were just hanging out together for the day haha! They had even given them nicknames already, which I find funny because their real names were Borris and Bronco so...I mean, who needs nickname with names like that?! 

Next thing I know, Borris is sticking a straw full of frozen lemonade in my face, feeding me and saying "you're pretty, you're pretty" in his thick accent. What do you even do?! Hahaha I ate it! Everyone was so confused and then he said, kinda embarrassed, "her shirt..." I happened to be wearing my shirt that said Feed Me & Tell Me I'm Pretty! Then he told Nick that he was a lucky guy because he thought Nick was my husband haha. 

So here I am in line for Tatsu.. with two Serbian guys who barely speak English, Olivia and her friend I've never met, and my crazy cousin and her uncle haha! I can honestly saw I never would have guessed that would ever happen, but I freaking love how random life can be sometimes. Oh and Full Throttle is my new FAVORITE. Don't get me wrong, X2 will always have a special place in my thrill seekng heart, but Full Throttle is just...amaze.

16 August 2015

Adventure Date!

On Saturday, Matthew told me he would find something fun for us to do for free...and I was doubtful ha! But when we started driving he told me we were going on a photo adventure date and I got SO EXCITED because that meant he was in a generous mood. He typically doesn't love dates where I just have my face in my camera the whole time, but an adventure date is when we go find somewhere to explore and I get to take pictures the whole time. 

This time we went to a campsite near our house and it was soooo beautiful. We were incredibly surprised to find that the creek was still there in this drought (even though it's only a fraction of the size it would normally be - it was surprising to see any moisture there at all). I was in a gorgeous place, with my favorite person, doing my favorite thing and it felt amazing! Now if only I could convince my Mattie to do this every weekend!

14 August 2015


I'm spending my Saturday night all alone right now watching Real Housewives of whatever city we are on, and it is honestly the best time ever! Right now my Mattie is at a Dodger game helping my father-in-love celebrate his birthday...

and I'm just straight chillin like you wouldn't believe. This is such a gloriously lazy night!

It is so so quiet around here without that Mattie around and sometimes on nights like this I like to go through the #thingsmymattie says hashtag. I knowww there isn't a lot of content on there now, but it is enough to make me smile on days when smiling is hard. I think these little glimpses into our conversations paint such an accurate picture of our relationship! Here's one of my favorites:

HA! Every time I read this I laugh out loud. I remember being so surprised that for one time in my life he was trying to get behind my frequent habit of "doing something crazy" ...and it turns out it was only a typo! I'm pretty sure the crazy thing I was thinking of doing here was giving up processed foods. That lasted about 4 hours.

Here is another one that surprised me. This is the day I learned that a "pretty please" and a selfie can get you anywhere in life:

He has actually bought me a car since this conversation...but it was grey. Now maybe you can better understand his response in that first screenshot haha - he has a wife who frequently gets off-the-wall ideas. This response made me go all mushy though...would he actually be okay with a pink car? Probably not. But I love that he would still consider one if it means I would be happy - and honestly, its still in the back of my mind, filed under "one day".

One more, one more, this is so fun for me :) This one happened just this week. Next weekend we are going to a wedding in San Diego and Matthew has been talking a lot about going to the zoo. The zoo is where we had our first date and it's just always been a place that has felt romantic to us because we really did start to fall in love on that first day. Anyways, I've been trying to convince him that we probably won't have enough time to go, but I wasn't expecting this response - and with that emoji lol! 

Who could say no to that grumpy face?! I can NOT wait for next weekend...and for tomorrow too because we're going to go on some kind of day date (since my Friday night date got canceled). I think I win twice because now I've had a nice quiet evening to miss him aaaand we'll have more time together than if it was just an evening date.

09 August 2015

Okay, maybe I did forget how to blog

No...seriously. Before I wrote my last post I was like "after I get that off my chest I can just go back to normal" And when I wrote it I kept expecting blog posts to just come to me (as per usual) but nothing was coming and I realized this week that I might have to try to force it for a second because honestly I'm drawing a blank. I even considered quitting the blog but then I died a little inside so...here's an attempt to try to fill you in on the past month or so even though I'll never remember anything I would have wanted to say had I been blogging full time, ha!

4th of July...what is there to be said that hasn't already been said? We ate, we laughed, we watched fire explode in the sky...and I took pictures. 

Our bottom floor is a construction zone right now because we are doing some demolition and working on so many projects at once slash this is going to take forever because we are 5% through 500 separate projects. So that's fun. But we've got a target and we're moving towards it, so slow and steady wins the race, right? My upper floor is going much better though - I've got a little furniture now and you can even start sensing my french country theme, I think.

Wait! Did I tell you we're getting a sphynx?? I'm obsessed. I've wanted one for a few years now but they are SO EXPENSIVE it's hard to justify spending that much money. But with this whole lack of baby thing, we both agree that I need something to love and take care of or I am just going to keel over and die. So I get my cat...in 6 months...when we finish saving for it, haha!

Hair update: I started plopping overnight:

Matthew has been working really long hours and every single night I have to rub the knots out of his back. Sometimes he falls asleep on me. The night before this next photo was taken he started falling asleep on me and I said "Lets go to bed babe" and he said "No!" which was weird, usually he'll just go right to be when he's tired! He was obviously falling asleep so I kept prodding him and he said "I want to stay here because you wont cuddle me if we go upstairs!" Eek! Instant guilt - wife of the year award, right?? That poor guy is such a cuddler and I am just...not. I was so sad that the poor guy would rather fall asleep on the floor cuddling me than sleep in his comfy bed so I tried to convince him that I would cuddle him for 20 whole minutes if he went upstairs.
And um...my sister in law got her wedding photos back. I think that's about the last of the updates. The photos were gorgeous though, and the couple is just so so happy together. I feel like they are that couple who will stay in a perpetual state of newlywed bliss for the rest of their lives. Matt and I love this series of pictures from the wedding lol

But there's also some really nice ones of course:

My random favorites:

This one is not a favorite but check out the size of this wedding party, lol.

Favorites continued:

Fun fact! When I went wedding dress shopping I  didn't have a real vision...I had no idea what I wanted, and was super confused. I thought I would just "know" when I found the dress. But that feeling never came for me and I just ended up picking the one everyone seemed to like best. There was one part on it that I really hated and I asked if it could be altered but the lady said definitely not, so I just took a chance that it might grow on me. It didn't. Don't get my wrong, I really did LOVE some parts about my dress...but after my wedding, I would go online and look at dresses and imagine which one I would have worn if I had really been true to myself and chosen one that felt perfect. AND I ACTUALLY FOUND IT. It was the most beautiful gown I had ever ever seen and I knew that if I could go back in time, it would have been my dress. I was so in love, I saved it on my pinterest board and would go back to look at it frequently. I even showed it to Matthew, and Sara, and a couple of friends. When Sara went wedding dress shopping, she did have a distinct vision - she waned a mermaid gown. But her mama saw this one and convinced her to try it on. The moment it was on, they both had that "this is it!" moment and Sara knew she had found the dress of her dreams. Guess which dress it was haha?! It was my dream dress! Seeing my sister in her (our??) dream dress really was amazing. She was absolutely flawless in it and I spent the majority of the day making sure the train didn't get all twisted around because I really was obsessed, haha! It was just as stunning in person as I had imagined. What are the odds though?! Irony is like...my life's middle name or something.

Laynahslife Irony Crawley. That's my life's name, don't wear it out! Paha. If that joke is lame, I blame it 100% on the fact that I fell asleep at midnight and woke up at 4am wide awake from a very vivid dream in which I was Rose Dawson on the Titanic. I couldn't get back to sleep so I just started blogging and now its like 6am but I  am so exhausted feel like going back to sleep now! Good news is, I'm rambling again so I may have found my blogging voice! 

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